Come as you are — book review and podcast.
WALK INTO YOUR local bookstore and you will come across a number of books about sex and how to improve your sex life.
Emily Nagoski first became a sex educator in the mid-90s and adds her vast experience in sex education with her book, Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life.
Nagoski uses scientific breakthroughs, both recent and long-standing theories, to dive deep into sex and how it plays into our busy lives. Something that made these concepts easier to grasp was the author’s ingenious use of metaphors to allow readers to relate these theories to their own sex lives.
Broken up into four parts, the book explores anatomy, what happens in your brain before and during sex, as well as internal and external factors that contribute to wanting and having good sex.
Nagoski then touches on societal and cultural standards about sex, exploring how our desire and arousal are affected by many of the previously mentioned components, but continually focusing on the importance of context.
Describing the goal of her book in her introduction, Nagoski insists that “you will learn something that will improve your sex life and transform the way you understand what it means to be a sexual being. And you’ll discover that, even if you don’t yet feel that way, you are already sexually whole and healthy.”
Using fictionalised characters that channel many people Nagoski has worked with as a sex educator, she explores this notion of feeling ‘sexually whole and healthy’. Most important is the notion of feeling normal even if your society and culture doesn’t see you and your sex life that way.
As my first foray into a book about sex, I enjoyed Come As You Are as an introduction to the many aspects of sex and how they can affect your life.
Nagoski’s frank and down to earth way of writing ensures an approachable and open-mindedness that may not come from heavier, more scientifically based books.
Come As You Are was first published in 2015 and has since become a New York Times Bestseller with a companion Come As You Are Workbook published in June of this year, a testament to the book’s original success.
If you’d like a book that provides practical tips and sage advice from an experienced woman, I highly recommend Come As You Are. It’s an approachable, easy-to-digest read about a topic that can be complicated at the best of times — and Emily Nagoski untangles it well.
For a more in-depth discussion tap into my podcast book review below, where I dive deeper into the book’s content, quotes and messages.
Come As You Are
Scribe (UK and Commonwealth)
$29.99, April 2015
IMAGERY: Book cover (Author supplied). Bedroom scenic (Tracey Hocking / Unsplash).